Sex & Intimacy Coaching for Couples
You’re with the partner you deeply love.
Your love is extraordinary & you feel at home with each other. You want sex to be an extraordinary expression of your big love for each other.
When you meet and commit to a lifetime together, passion feels so effortless and profoundly transformational — so much so that it comes as a heart-breaking shock when sexual passion starts to wane, frequency comes to a halt or simply doesn’t match the individual needs of each partner.
When a marriage becomes sexless without the mutual agreement of both partners, it oftentimes leads to significant emotional distress, feelings of inadequacy, and/or alienation, eroding the foundational trust, emotional and physical bond that the marriage is built upon.
What if you could create AGAIN that special spark and connection in sex that you felt in the beginning …
WITHOUT throwing in the towel on your marriage, changing who you are or opening the relationship?
TRUST THE PROCESS … THERE ARE ANSWERS AHEAD.
“[Again and again] we would land in this place [around sex] where Greg felt rejected, and I felt like a failure. It felt hopeless.
If we could go back 18 months to our former selves, we probably looked like 90% of other couples who come to Irene. But we thought we were originals, with original problems and challenges. So my advice is to hop on the train. Trust the process. There is a process, which means that you can't go from the beginning to the end immediately. You have to reset and strip away old habits and old triggers. You have to get on the same page with communication. You have to have that intentional connection. Trust the process. There are answers ahead. It has been life changing… truly.
Shannon and Greg
Read their success story here
THE # 1 QUESTION THAT COUPLES ASK WHEN STRUGGLING WITH DIFFERENCES IN SEXUAL DESIRE:
Is there hope for us?
It’s a valid question to have when:
You’ve tried reading books and downloaded apps for sexy date nights, and nothing works to budge her desire. So the frustration mounts on both sides.
You have the same fight over and over and you promise to do things differently, only to fall back into old patterns. And each time, you lose more and more hope that things will change. Downward spiral.
You stress that one day, maybe soon, the lack of sex in your marriage will be the final straw for one of you. And you have no idea what to do to change things around.
I hear you.
I’ve been there, too.
And so have all my clients.
If you’re stuck in a downward stress spiral about sex in your relationship with no clear path to solve it, it’s not because you are not trying hard enough.
It’s that you’ve been set up for failure. When we cross the threshold into our new life as a married couple, the world wishes us good luck and assumes that now we now should know how to deal with the challenges of marriage and sexual desire. Unlike getting an appliance, marriage doesn’t come with a manual on how to address internal relationship problems such as differences in sexual desire in a healthy and productive way. We’re forced to figure it out on your own or quit the marriage …
AND I KNOW THAT ENDING THE MARRIAGE IS NOT THE PATH YOU WANT TO TAKE.
If you’re reading this, you are committed to making it work and find your way back to passion, connection and ease with each because it’s important to you.
You want to make each other happy and bring joy into each other’s life
You want playfulness and lightness in your intimacy again
You want to feel good about your sex life
You want sexual passion to be an expression of deep love for each other
You want to model a healthy relationship and sexuality to your children
You want to live out God’s will of love and passion for your relationship
You want to take advantage of this precious life and not waste another moment on disconnection with your beloved
And so much more!
When you realize that a healthy sex life is important to your relationship, love and even spiritual commitments, you see that “just winging it” won’t cut it. And putting it off for the future is not an option either.
When you’re ready to make real progress towards mending this part of your relationship with a concrete action steps to greater connection, intimacy and ease in your sex life …
SO YOU CAN:
Connect sexually with ease
Feel closer to each other through passion and intimacy in sex
Be more in control of how and when you have sex, without having work hard at it
You need better than a one-size-fits-all advice that you find in books and apps.
You need an expert-developed, hand-held, personalized process that will be tailored to your situation, to both of your personalities, backgrounds and needs, and that is sensitive to all aspects of your life as it is today.
Your relationship deserves it!
(We can create this together through our coaching … more on that in a minute.)
A custom-tailored, step-by-step coaching process
that works for you and your relationship will include:
THE NUANCES OF YOUR COUPLE PATTERNS
A solid approach to fixing a persistent sex problem doesn’t start with theory. It starts with a deep look at your couple dynamics today and where you want to go. We base our action steps on the specific needs of your relationship and each member to restore safety, vulnerability and connection that breeds intimacy and sexual openness.
THE WAY YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE
Most sex advice gives you generic tips to implement, leaving it up to you to figure out how to force-fit them into your already packed life. That is not sustainable — nor does it motivate you to invest time and energy into it. The best strategy is to create new habits that you are excited about, because they work with your life and priorities.
Physical and emotional aspects of sex
Most sex advice focuses on the physical side of sex and how to make it passionate and exciting. But that’s not enough. You also need to attend to the intimacy and emotional side of sex to to develop passion and closeness. Only a holistic approach that melds sex and intimacy together can tackle sex and sexual desire challenges in a long-term relationship.
Hi, I am Irene Fehr.
WOMAN, LOVER, INTIMACY WARRIOR, OUTDOORS PERSON, FRANCOPHILE, and SEX & INTIMACY COACH SINCE 2012
I am not here to tell you how to do things in sex to make it passionate. The last thing you need is something telling you what to do.
I am here to guide you expertly to safety in your relationship so that you can realize the dream of the relationship you know yours can be.
I am here to offer you a highly customized process that tackles the sticky patterns that keep you away from each other while teaching you how to connect sexually in a new — and sustainable — way.
As seen in
Full Transparency
My goal is to help you build an extraordinary relationship filled with both love and sex — not make what you have now a little bit less bad. I deliver on that with
Coaching sessions
Any-time email/text support
In-between laser sessions to help you get unstuck
Optional in-person intensives on site in France
If you’re looking for a quick solution or to try things out for a session or two to see if things change, I cannot help.
I take a stand for the extraordinary for your relationship and your life, which means I also ask for your full commitment to your extraordinary goals, which includes:
TIME COMMITMENT: I work with clients for at least 12 months — because, as in all areas of life, truly extraordinary results take time to produce. In fact, most clients work with me for 2-3 years because the value continued support for their relationship goals. I do not work on a session-by-session basis, as I do not see that as being in service of my client’s goals for an extraordinary sex life.
We typically work together weekly via a virtual session, and depending on your package, we also design intensive sessions to cover in-depth topics.
FINANCIAL COMMITMENT: I offer highly-customized coaching packages with various level of support that range from US$18K to $29K for the year for couples. Payment plans are available.
ENERGY COMMITMENT: Change happens when you do things differently, not just when you talk about doing things differently. You will have daily assignments that deepen your intimacy and connection and set up you with helpful habits for your sexual intimacy. Expect to commit at least several hours each week outside of our sessions to spend with each other doing pleasurable and intimate things (which can’t be all that bad!).
VIRTUAL COACHING: I am an American currently based in the France and work virtually over the online conferencing platform of Zoom with English-speaking clients all over the world, including the US, Canada, Europe, UK, Israel, the Middle East and Australia.
There is no sexual contact involved under any circumstances.
Customized couples retreats in France are available.
So when it feels like you’ve tried everything to make it happen, how do you finally put an end to the heartache and make real progress toward mending this part of your relationship?
Read real-life case studies of “Intimacy Warriors” who rescued their relationships from emotional and sexual gridlock to find their way to passion, intimacy and connection in sex:
On the brink of divorce after 25 years together, Shannon and Bill fought to save their near-sexless marriage. Their experience led them to discover levels of emotional and sexual intimacy that they did not know existed.
Al & Blair, a couple in their 30s, were in a gridlocked place of defensiveness and power struggles that made sexual intimacy impossible. As they found their way to each other and to deeper intimacy, they discovered more freedom and fun.
After their child’s birth, Alan and Grace fell into a sexless marriage that threatened their relationship and love. After losing a year trying to fix this with couples therapy, they fought to find the support that would turn things around.
After 25 years of deep love and connection, Shannon & Greg feared that “differences in libido” would end their marriage. Learn how they broke through damaging patterns to sexy intimacy and even more love.
How to Talk to Your Partner About Getting Sex & Intimacy Coaching
Maybe you’re on the same page in prioritizing sex and intimacy in your relationship, and this conversation will be a piece of cake.
For most couples, however, approaching a partner about doing couples coaching or therapy can feel intimidating or scary. Don’t despair!
I’ve created a special guide on how to approach talking to your partner about hiring a sex coach. It includes a special process and a downloadable PDF worksheet for you to fill out to make the conversation a lot easier and more successful.
We learned how to do long-term relationship with Irene …
We've both grown sooo much individually and as a couple … both much happier in our marriage. We were in a rough spot when we started ... tons of bickering … always feeling on edge like a fight was just around the corner, feeling drained by one another/our relationship and not on the same page as a couple. After coaching with Irene, we feel like a squeaky clean new couple. We're much more filled up individually, so we are filled up by our relationship, have sex much more frequently and more fulfilling sex, we have tools on how to do relationship so we rarely fight now. We ... both feel so much more freedom and joy from our relationship. We're also showing our son, and future children, what a healthy marriage looks and feels like. Irene ... lovingly guided us through some very tender times and got us to drop our swords and taught us to open our hearts to one another again. Her coaching is the perfect blend of tangible skills/communication, energy, holding a strong space and having fun. Do it — it takes work, courage, tears, healing and it is 1000% worth it because the love, freedom and joy on the other side is better than you can imagine.
Erin and Doug Holt • Entrepreneurs and Married Couple • Maine, USA
Freedom Lifestyle Mentor and Business and Men's Leadership Mentor
We’ve brought life back into our relationship … and it feels like we’re now in a state of effortless love.
Working with Irene has been life-changing! We came to Irene when things felt really hard in our relationship, as lack of trust was making communication and connection challenging and also our sex life. We’ve brought life back into our relationship … and it feels like we’re now in a state of effortless love. We trust each other, we have more connection, and we’re able to flow between situations, not worrying that we’ll say the wrong thing to each other. We’ve come closer together — in our everyday communication, in our love, in how we no longer leave each other behind during arguments, disagreements or hurt feelings, and in sex as we learned to put our guard down and be with each other in a more connected way.
As a man, I feel stronger for having learned how to be vulnerable, and I know I am making our relationship stronger when I am able to be open and honest and not fear showing that side of myself to my wife. I am being more effective and stronger for her, and as a result, we’re able to face what comes up together. As a woman, I learned to be more at ease with myself, and to allow myself to trust and depend on my husband, in a way that my older self couldn’t because of the walls I had put up around myself.
Irene has developed an amazing set of tools, and she has an extraordinary ability of holding space so that each of us has the opportunity to truly be heard and understood and to say what we needed to say. That made our challenges more manageable and intimacy easier. Having done this work, thinking about the future that we want to create from here is easy, and we are confident that we can do it.
S & J • Married couple in their 30s • Colorado, USA
Our relationship is the best it’s been in recent years and that’s a lot due to our renewed intimacy.
Surely not unlike many other couples who have been together 10 plus years, sex was something we just did. We were, for many years, going through the same patterns that we always had and we felt “satisfied.” It wasn’t until we had an honest conversation of “Are you getting what you want out of this?” that we realised that neither of us were.
And as ridiculous as it was to engage a coach on the other side of the planet, it has been life changing. Our relationship is the best it’s been in recent years and that’s a lot due to our renewed intimacy.
We had no idea what we wanted or how to get there, but knew that “spicing it up” wasn’t the answer. We were looking to lay ground work so that our intimate relationship fed the rest of our relationship for the years to come … and great sex is obviously a key to that. Irene provided a supportive environment, helped us grow both as a couple and individually so that we could bring the best of ourselves to the bedroom. We learnt that just “satisfied” isn’t what we want our intimate relationship and sex life to be … we wanted it to be amazing and we, with help from Irene, are well on the way to achieving that.
Tom and Lacey • Married Couple • Brisbane, Australia
