Intimacy & Sexuality Coaching for Women
what you're going through is a call to
step into your sexual power?
What if low libido was your soul's way of telling you that you're not being authentic and in integrity with yourself?
What if painful sex was your body's was telling you that the way you've been treating your body in sex is not working?
What if your feeling shy in bed is a message from the Universe that you are keeping your light and aliveness away from your partner?
What if your sexual problems are the way you're being called to unlock your deepest satisfaction and passion?
I get it. You probably feel disappointed and sad that your body is not there for you when you want it. You are used to seeing yourself as broken and less than other women. And it's hard in this place to imagine that what you're experiencing is anything other than a problem to be fixed.
to stay strong and figure this out on your own ...
Maybe you've talked to experts in the field – gynecologists, therapists – who told you there's nothing wrong with you and that it's normal not to feel as much pleasure in sex as men. Maybe they've been told you that it's ok to not feel sexual after menopause. But you know that something is really wrong with this advice.
Maybe you've spent thousands on self-help books, audios and group programs and found some inspiration but little change in your body. And you want personalized attention.
Maybe you've done nothing at all but wished and prayed that your sex life could change.
If you're a woman in your midlife and you:
:: Want to participate in the pleasure and aliveness of sex – exactly how you want it: soulfully, wholeheartedly, passionately?
:: Ready to stop avoiding, taming, dumbing down or ignoring your truest and deepest feminine nature and desires (however messy they seem) and let yourself be free from inhibitions?
:: Crave feeling turned on and desirous and excited for love-making again?
:: Yearn to connect authentically and intimately with your partner or attract one who will meet and appreciate you sexually?
for the guidance and mentorship to ...
Feel amazing by having sex that works for your body
Feel confident to ask for what you really want
Share your feelings, needs, desires, and your truth freely
Live without guilt, doubt, tension, and anxiety – and be free to play and connect
Whether you want to expand your sexuality, overcome low libido or get over sexual hurdles, together, we will embark on a journey of self-discovery that will reconnect you to your feminine birthright of pleasure and turn-on. We will work at edge of your comfort zone of your beliefs around your sexuality (and who you thought you should be as a woman) and break through to the powerful woman that you know you are, so you can desire and experience more passionate, nourishing and joyful sex – exactly how you want it.
You will learn how to ...
:: Communicate your authentic, heart- and pussy-felt desires to your partner
:: Access pleasure in your body that enlivens you and adds energy (and heat) to your sex and relationship
:: Communicate your truth – your feelings, emotions and boundaries –in a way that creates trust, connection and turn-on in you and your partner
:: Gain the skills to respond in vulnerable, intimate moments without losing yourself
I am Irene Fehr, and I am here to help.
My life's mission is to support women and men to experience their fullest sexual expression.
But it hasn't always been the case. Years ago, I was the same as you, looking for a sexuality coach to help me fix my "sexual problems": not being able to orgasm, painful sex, and a general lack of that sexual feeling.
My personal story is a common one. At age 25, I met the man who became my husband. It was love at first sight, and we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Once we settled into our relationship, I started noticing changes in our sex life.
Where there used to be fun and excitement, I became aware of that empty then resentful feeling when he orgasmed but I didn't. I yearned to ask for more, wished and prayed inside that he would touch me differently, but fear took over, and I stayed silent.
My body started changing too. First, I lost my lubrication. The gynecologist suggested using lube, so we continued having sex, without my awareness that I wasn't turned on. Then intercourse turned painful. We barely talked about it, just in passing as I went in and out of doctors' appointments trying to figure out what was "wrong" with me. Eventually, I "lost my libido" and any desire to be touched or touch. And I couldn't get it back.
I blamed myself for not being feminine enough. I felt broken for not being orgasmic. And I felt numb — numb to excitement and passion for my own life.
Yet at 30 years of age, I wondered...
Is that it for me? Why don't I want sex like other women?
Am I not meant to enjoy sex?
Eventually, my husband and I divorced. Without the emotional tools I have today, we couldn't find connection to stay together.
I was devastated and found myself sliding into depression for several years. I tried dating (I really wanted a relationship) and found myself either shutting down in anxiety or in tears when it came to anything sexual. I avoided any sexual touch or connection, even eye contact, as I feared that I'd initiate something sexual that I didn't want. To numb the loneliness and pain, I focused on work and outside activities (and a lot of shopping!).
Little did I know then that my loss of libido and sexual struggles set me on a path to discover what intimacy and sexuality really meant for me.
I heard the wake up call. Knowing there had to be a better way of living, I walked into a sex coach's office to tell her that I wanted a different way to do sex that free of anxiety, shutdown and tears.
And I discovered that instead of having a low libido in the pathological sense, I had never had a connection to my body, which stopped me from asking from what I really wanted and feeling free to express myself with joy and openness as I was born to express.
The missing ingredient from my sexuality had been a deep connection and honoring of my body and who I am.
Working with a sex coach, I delved into intense self-discovery work. I voraciously studied various sexuality practices, including Orgasmic Meditation, and learned to awaken my body to pleasure (yes, our bodies do go numb) and tap into pleasure I only dreamt of.
I set the intention to live my life by these three tenets: desire, pleasure & truth. I pledged to stay true to my desire and values, cultivate pleasure as nourishment, and speak my truth unconditionally.
My sexual journey taught me what it means to be in integrity with myself — by saying "no" to what does not feel true to me and what does not honor who I am and has led the way to deep life satisfaction and joy.
My journey and my studies in sexuality, relationships, mindfulness, somatic awareness, neuroscience and trauma release work are the foundation of my coaching program that I offer here to you.
I invite you to join me on this journey to
- Open to deeper and more satisfying emotional and sexual intimacy
- Embrace your eroticism and find your turn-on within
- Become a confident lover, so you never have to wonder if you’re good enough for your partner.
When we work together, you'll get support to:
Access Your Desire
- Uncover what you deeply want for yourself: the kind of touch, affection, and love communication that turns you on
Remove roadblocks of guilt, shame or self-doubt that stand in the way of you having what you want
Connect to your body's wisdom and sexual energy through somatic (body-based) practices
- Learn what feels good to you and how to receive pleasure (and get out of your head while making love)
Work through fears, guilt and shame that are holding you back from surrendering deeply into pleasure and orgasm
Relax into your body and your sensuality
Nourish your body and soul to bring out your natural radiance and shine
Speak Your Truth
- Get comfortable speaking your truth in a way that your partner will listen
Release resentments and hurts from the past to connect to your partner or magnetize partners that you deeply desire
Surrender deeply into relationship without losing yourself and compromising your integrity
Learn the power of authentic communication and desire to turn each other on
Sample 6-Month Coaching Journey
Month 1: Make room for pleasure & desire
My initial work with clients is to focus on self-care: freeing up their time and identifying and eliminating what drains their energy. You cannot build something new on top of what's not working. Then we focus on infusing pleasure and desire into every-day life. We start small, and but these have big accumulative results.
Results to look forward to:
- More control over your schedule (and your life)
- Facing daily stressors, overwhelms and anxieties with more ease and facility
Month 2-3: Transform Limiting Beliefs
Our beliefs are the foundation of our behavior. We act on what we believe. Therefore, to change behavior, we must become aware and choose our beliefs—about ourselves, what is possible, and what is true. During this phase, we dive deep into processes to uncover limiting beliefs while we mine for deep desires.
Results to look forward to:
- Letting go of beliefs that no longer serve you
- Releasing past relationship toxins and resentments
- Regulating your own emotions, feelings, and anxieties to better soothe and comfort yourself during anxiety or overwhelm
Month 4: Set the Course Forward
We rarely take time to really feel and honor our dreams, which is often why it's so hard for clients to achieve them. This month we focus on what you want and work through the hurdles of achieving your goals.
Results to look forward to:
- Having more control over fears and anxieties that stop you from moving forward
- Gaining courage to ask for what you want
- Knowing your boundaries and non-negotiables and comfortably saying no to what does not align
Month 5: Activate Your Sexual Power
We've been building up to this powerful phase where I teach you practices to step into your sexual power.
Results to look forward to:
- Understanding your unique sexual personality and coming to accept that everything about you is normal, beautiful and the way it should be
- Opening your sexual expression to more authenticity, passion and self-honoring
- Allowing yourself to receive and take in complements with ease
- Asking for what you want in a way that others want to give it to you
Month 6: Be the Woman You Want to Be
In this last phase of expansion, you put into practice giving yourself full permission to want what you want and to go for it, activating your instinct, imagination and intuition.
Results to look forward to:
- Trusting yourself and standing in integrity with your desire & intuition
- Staying calm and grounded in anxiety-provoking situations
- Maintain yourself and your power in partnership without losing yourself
Months 7-9: Supporting You in Practice
Ongoing support as you put skills into practice and shine your light and power in the world.
Every journey with a client is unique because every client is unique. What’s reliable is that when we both show up fully, magic happens. Each journey is custom-tailored for your specific situation and is highly experiential and transformative.
My Clients Are Women Like You
My clients are mostly women, in their 20s to their 50s, heterosexual and gay, single, divorced, married and in open relationships. They live all over the world: the U.S., Europe, Canada, Turkey, and even Australia and we work together via Internet Phone or Skype.
Singled and coupled, my clients come from different walks of life, but they have one thing in common: they want to life a fully-expressed life. What stands out about them is their tenacious commitment to their own growth and achievement of their dreams. Even though they all walk into the door with fear, they don't let it stop them.
If you're single, you definitely don't have to wait until you meet your partner to work on your sexuality. In fact, this is the perfect time to work on you and what you want, so that you can meet the partner that you desire.
If you're coupled, I occasionally do combined sessions and if couples work is necessary, I will recommend that you work with a couples specialist. I teach a hands-on sexuality practice of Orgasmic Meditation that you do with my clients do with their partners, if they choose.
What Clients Have to Say
"I feel I am more of a co-creator in my life. I feel lovable, worthy, grateful, excited and engaged in my life."
"My ignition is in my control. I feel fully alive and vital and sexy. I’m more awake and alive ... and I feel powerful and magnetic."
"I feel a healthy rebellion in my life ... like nothing is actually broken. This is a welcome thought and a new one. I believe it's a strong sign of my healing."
Are you ready to chat and see if this approach is right for you? Fill out the form below or call me at 415 944 9560 to schedule a free 15-minute phone or Skype consultation.
Once I receive your form, I will send you a link to the time scheduler to book the session me. The more you can share in this form, the more I can get a sense of what you're looking for. Due to the limited amount of slots available, I can only offer consultations to people whom I can help with my services. I am also happy to make referrals.
Everything you share with me, in this form and otherwise, is strictly confidential, regardless whether you work with me or not.
I feel fully alive, vital and sexy. My relationship with my husband is hotter … sexier … exciting.
I see myself completely differently. My love for myself (and realization that I matter) has grown tremendously. I don’t feel numb anymore. I don’t hold back as much. I feel fully alive and vital and sexy. I feel powerful and magnetic. What I am most proud of is my openness to talk with my husband about things I was afraid to ask for before. My relationship is hotter, more fun, sexier, exciting. Coaching with Irene has been fun, and the most valuable coaching I’ve ever gotten.
Suzan, Co-Active Coach
Irene helped me find and connect, mind and body, to the woman I knew was inside.
I had spent years in my head and totally disconnected from my body. I felt flat. I knew I wanted to feel differently but I wasn't sure what to do about it. Irene helped me to zero in on how I wanted to feel within my body, then name and claim those desires. I laughed, cried, cussed, and got turned on! Working with Irene was nothing short of transformational. Don't let her sweet voice fool you though, she's tough ... and you'll love her for it!